If you go into a church today you’re sure of a big surprise
If you go into a church today you won’t believe your eyes

For every saint that ever there was is dancing and singing and causing a buzz
For today’s the day it was found there is no god

Every member of the choir is singing a different tune
And on the floor and everywhere the hymnals have been strewn

For every preacher that ever there was has sent his god off to Oz
For today’s the day it was found there is no god

Jesus hides behind the cross he knows he’s no longer boss
Jesus hides behind the cross his blood’s tomato sauce

And every priest that plays with boys no longer will have their little toys
For today’s the day it was found there is no god

The bibles sit upon the shelf they still get plenty of use
They come in very handy when you feel your bowels get loose

I sing this song but have to be cruel for although I follow the golden rule
For today’s the day we say April Fool