Last night I had a scary dream
It surely shook me shake
I was in the garden of Eden
Oh how it made me quake

I saw old Adam naked
And that was a sad surprise
For even with Eve just the same
To the occasion he could not rise

The snake was there a plantin'
His apples a pretty sight
But darn and damn I was awake
Before I could take a bite



Dreamt about Moses that old fraud
Thought he had a message straight from gawd
Tried tellin' me what to do
If you're not careful he'll tell you too

Must keep the Sabbath oh so holy
Don't smoke or drink or rock and roly
No more stealin', lyin' or cussin'
Against thy neighbor no more fussin'

No more cuddlin' with another man's wife
Thinkin' about it will lead to strife
To an idol don't bow down
Not even a picture to hang around

Honor your ma and your old man
And no more shit or saying gawd damn
I awoke sweatin' and in a fright
And headed for the FORUM to get set right



The pope said I'm a thinkin'
Of where those babes should go
Who haven't been a baptised
The message they don't know

They've always been in limbo
Their own little soul to stay
But maybe they should be elsewhere
The rest of their lives to play

I've got the power to change the rules
I'll wave my magic cross
'Cause if we don't recruit new dupes
It will be such a loss

My dear father in heaven
Says it's hell or paradise
So stay tuned while I decide
It's just a toss of the dice


MAD AS HELL
I finally realized and admitted
I'm as mad as Hell
At the dear good Lord
For to me he did not tell
About his glorious kingdom
The one that's in the sky
He forgot to give me a ticket
To that sweet bye and bye

He never ever told me
All mine enemies he would smite
He never told me abusing youngsters
Was perfectly all right
He never told me praying
Was as easy as saying “Shazam”
He just let me believe
That religion was all a sham

So I never knew his love
Or about his saving grace
I never knew how to get into
His little heavenly place
So now you know why
I'm just as mad as Hell
‘Cause he forgot to tell me...

Guess it's just as well